Top 5 most annoying types of NFL fans
Alex Gelhar

Well, well, well, another NFL season is in the books which means it is now a time for reflection. But I’m not talking about reflecting on your team’s performance, their chances in 2013, or anything of that ilk. I’m talking about discussing a more interesting, incendiary, and pervasive topic – NFL fans. That’s right, it’s time to turn your hyper-critical eyes onto yourselves for a few moments. In preparation for the postseason, I present you a list of the five most annoying types of NFL fans you probably encountered this season. Keep in mind, this is not an indictment of any specific team’s fan base, but rather certain types of fans that populate every stadium, bar, and Buffalo Wild Wings from sea to shining sea. Here we go.


5) The Bandwagon jumper

Few things are as obnoxious as a fan of one team jumping ship to root passionately for another team either during the season, or in the playoffs. Thankfully, the NFL has fans devoted enough to their franchises that this typically doesn’t happen, but when it does, it’s revolting. Speaking of bandwagons, if your team is already out and you are looking for a cozy bandwagon to board, we will be putting together a handy guide to help your wayward fandom find a home. Even though it pains us to do so. Check back in with the Sidelines Blog later this week for the guide. Or just suck it up, enjoy the playoffs, and cheer for your team next year. Your call.


4) The Know-it-all stats maven

This is the fan that’s wonderful to have around when he’s backing up your arguments, but more obnoxious than the unrelenting Tim Tebow coverage when he’s correcting your arguments. He lurks quietly in the darkness at bars or in stands, waiting for his chance to strike and one-up unsuspecting fans with his prodigious depth of useless knowledge.


3) The “Championships” argument fan

You know this guy. Everyone does. Heck, I’ll even admit to pulling out this lame argument at points when I’m smarting over my teams’ loss. This is the guy who win or lose, always reverts back to his team’s Super Bowl or championship record as the end all be all for ANY argument. Like when the Steelers lost to the Cowboys, or the Packers to the 49ers. Sure, winning titles is the reason everyone plays the game, but don’t be a tool and have that be your sole argument for everything. Unless you’re a Bills or Vikings fans and use the reverse-Championships argument for sympathy and support. That’s granted, you poor, suffering souls.


2) The doesn’t know anything die-hard

These fans can typically be found screaming in the direction of the TV or field at the top of their lungs, likely spewing obscenities at a faster rate than Christian Bale on the set of Terminator Salvation. Yet, when you get this supposed die-hard one-on-one, they know next to nothing about their team outside of the marquee players and maybe the head coach. If you’re looking for an honest, intelligent discussion about football, this is the fan to avoid. If you’re looking for a fist-fight on the other hand…


1) The Eternal Pessimist/Optimist

These sad sacks are about as annoying as fans come, regardless of which side of the emotional spectrum they fall on. Whether they’re cursing every incompletion as the straw that broke their teams’ back, or telling you just how many touchdowns, two point conversions, and onside kicks their team needs to comeback, these fans take the cake. Making matters worse is the fact that these fans keep the same sad demeanor year in and year out, blindly believing this is their year, or bemoaning their impending playoff loss because their quarterback performed poorly in preseason.

2) The doesn’t know anything die-hard

Junkie

most of us here fall under #1 i guess