The Advantages of Being a Miami Dolphins Widow.
by David Blake

The NFL season is back which means there are countless numbers of NFL widows living their Sunday afternoons without their husbands for the next 4-5 months. Sorry ladies, but that's just the way God wired us. You wanted a real man, and a real man loves football. NFL football. Let me summarize the benefits of being a Sunday widow . You will appreciate it.

1. You have security as you know where your husband is on game day. He'll be watching Cam Wake make Sunday afternoons a nightmare for opposing quarterbacks and offensive tackles.

2. You now have 3-6 hours to go to the spa, go shopping, see your friends without having him nagging around with you.

3. You can support the Dolphins and take some interest in the game. I know that you have a ballet or theatre production you want him to take you to the other 7 months of the year.

4. During the game he won't hear anything you have to say as he is focused on watching Tannehill hitting Wallace deep in the end zone for an amazing touchdown. That's your time to request something from him that he won't realize he is saying"yes" to.

5. While he is watching the game, this is a great chance to try something new. How about working out on that stripper pole that he set up in the bedroom for you. All he does is give, give, give.

6. You will be surprised to know that 40% of all NFL fans are women.The very intelligent NFL lladies are Dolphins fans. Join the winning team!

7. You can look very fashionable in women's NFL clothing. The NFL is all about making money, so, you can believe they have a nice women's line of clothing to wear. Miami's colors are aqua, orange, navy, and white. BUT, you can get everything all in pink now. I hear that phinfever even sells a phinfever thong. No kidding.

8. Sunday afternoon can be date day. Just suggest that you and he actually go to the Dolphins game and you shouldn't hear any excuses as to being too busy or tired to do so. Even better is the 2 hours before the game as tailgating has the aroma of grilled food.

9. The season does come to an end. Just keep all this in mind: there are "16 games with one week off (called a “bye” week), followed by up to four playoff games for teams who make the cut. There’s usually another week off, then it’s the Super Bowl. But wait, there’s more: the Pro Bowl".

10. Since I like you, let me recommend this article to get you started: "Women's Guide to Football Players on the Football Field " . There's nothing sexier than a wife or girlfriend that can say the following names, "Marino, Shula, Csonka, Tannehill, Cam Wake, Pouncey, Incognito, Grimes, Wallace, Fields" or actions words like, "sack, touchdown, fist pump (whoops, strike that one). Also, never EVER mention the names of "Oliva-no-Defense (the man who kept Danny from winning a Super Bowl ring), Sammy Smith (fumble), Wannstedt (couldn't coach his way out of a wet paper bag), JJ (the quitter), Saban (no class, Cameron (believes in drafting families), Sparano (fist pump), and Parcells (took the money and did nothing with it).

http://www.phinfever.com/newsite/index. ... 9&Itemid=1

http://photos.essence.com/galleries/nfl ... val-guide/

Oliva-no-Defense. Wow. That's a name I haven't heard in so long, I actually had to Google it to remember why I recognized it.

Okay...it won't even let me type the name? I like it

LOL. It's on the ban list ... along the F-word.

Well Dave how did Michele rate that list?

He's hiding it from her.

LOL. She never comes here. My worlds haven't collided here yet.

Yet he friended me on facebook

Another advantage is that you know the season is only 17 weeks long. Every 5-10 years an additional week might be added for a single playoff gane

Yep I was thinking along the same lines. I wonder how that list would look posted up on his page, of course it would only be right to list the author as well. ; )

LOL. I accused her of spying on me, and we both laughed about it. I have nothing to hide and she gets my weird sense of humor.

I've been telling her there is a game on today every day for a week. I have my Tannehill jersey on (to wear to church) and she's like, "oh, is there a game today?" She doesn't get into the games, but she always cracks the whip on the kids to not bother me during the games, has a lot of good game food to eat, and always buys me Dolphins stuff.

Exactly what I thought when I read that. Dave this was an awesome list