Scenario: Jack goes deer hunting before school, pulls into the school parking lot with a shotgun in the gun rack on top of his truck.
1962 - The vice principal walks over to inspect Jack's shotgun. He then goes to his car and gets his own shotgun to show Jack. The two sit on the bumper of Jack's truck, compare their shotguns, and talk about the biggest deer they've shot. Jack realizes the vice principal is more than just a school disciplinarian.
2012 - School goes into lockdown mode, the FBI is called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or shotgun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark start talking crap to each other at lunch about a girl they both like. They meet after school and get into a fistfight.
1962 - A crowd gathers and cheers them on. Mark wins a long drawn out fight but then helps Johnny up. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up as buddies until they go away to college.
2012 - Police are called, Johnny and Mark are arrested. They are charged with assault and expelled from school even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey will not sit still in class, disrupts other students.
1962 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given a good paddling. He then returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt other students again.
2012 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with ADHD. He is constantly given huge doses of Adderal and becomes a zombie. The school gets extra state funding because Jeffrey now has a learning disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1962 - Billy takes his whipping like a man, then apologizes to the neighbor and mow's the neighbor's lawn every Saturday for a month to help pay for the broken window. He is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2012 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist convinces Billy's little sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison for a long time. Billy's mom has an affair with the state psychologist.
Scenario: Mike wakes up with a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1962 - Mike's headache goes away after second period and he gives the asprin to the school nurse so she can use it for other students.
2012 - Police are called, Mike's car is searched for drugs and weapons, and he is expelled from school for drug violations.
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1962 - Pedro misses out on his family summer vacation because he has to go to summer school. However, he passes English and ends up going on to college.
2012 - Pedro's cause is taken up by a local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist and culturally biased. The ACLU files a class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a high school diploma but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Jimmy takes apart leftover Fourth of July firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, and blows up an anthill.
1962 - Ants die.
2012 - The FBI and Department of Homeland Security are called and Jimmy is charged with domestic terrorism. The CIA investigates Jimmy's parents, his siblings are removed from the home, and all the computers are confiscated. Jimmy's parents are placed on the terror watch list and are never allowed to fly on an airplane again.
Scenario: Kevin falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, takes him to the nurses's office and gives him a hug to comfort him.
1962 - Kevin soon feels better and goes back to playing.
2012 - Mary is arrested and accused of being a sexual predator. She loses her job, gets three years in prison, and is ordered to register as a sex offender. Kevin undergoes five years of therapy.
AND YOU WONDER WHY THIS COUNTRY IS IN SUCH F****D UP SHAPE